Product description

Welcome to Quahog

It seems today that all you see is violence, and movies, and sex on TV. But where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely? Lucky there’s a Family Guy!

Meet the Griffins, your average American family living in Quahog, Rhode Island. They get into antics that poke fun at all aspects of society. If there’s a hot-button issue, you can bet that the Griffins are going to press it. They’ve done everything from the second coming of Christ to a nuclear apocalypse where Twinkies are the only food source to survive.

Aside from the Griffins, Quahog is home to unique and interesting characters. Quagmire is the neighborhood perv, Joe is a paraplegic policeman with anger issues, and Cleveland is a soft-spoken family-oriented black man. Other characters include The Greased-Up Deaf Guy, the Evil Monkey, Mayor Adam West, Bruce Straight, and Consuela the housekeeper.

Peter Griffin

Peter Griffin is the freakin’ sweet dad of the family. He’s a loving father but often makes the wrong decision. Like that time he got the family to drink ipecac to compete for the last piece of pie. A few minutes later the living room was drenched in vomit from floor to ceiling. Peter is bold, brash, and completely unfiltered. Meg is the one who takes the brunt of his bluntness. He isn’t shy to call her ugly or tell her to shut up. While Peter has minor disagreements with his family, he has real enemies in Quahog. One of those is Ernie, the giant chicken who Peter originally fights over an expired coupon. Every time they see each other, they begin a bloody brawl that spans the city.

"You know what really grinds my gears?"

Lois Griffin

Lois is a stay-at-home mom and often the voice of reason in the Griffin household. She ends up fixing many of Peter’s mistakes when she’s not hunting for deals at the grocery store. Before she met Peter, she lived with her parents (the Pewterschmidts) in extreme wealth. Her father didn’t approve of Peter, so Lois ran away with him and left her wealth behind. Lois does more than cooking and cleaning, though. She often tries out new hobbies, like the time she became a professional boxer, beating an established boxer for her husband’s honor. Or when she starts shoplifting for the adrenaline rush.

“[Exhausted] I- I don’t know, I guess I’m not woke, okay? Fine, you win with your gay stuff! That’s what you want, right? To win?”

Brian Griffin

Brian is the most cultured Labrador you’ll ever meet. He’s a big fan of jazz, politics, literature, and Lois. He’s had a crush on her for a long time, which can be a strain on his relationship with his best friend Peter. Despite being a dog, he seems to mostly pursue human women when choosing romantic partners. Some of his notable relationships include Jillian (a kind but unintelligent woman), Jess (a cancer patient finishing her bucket list), Seabreeze (the Pewterschmidts’ racing dog), and Ida Davis (a transwoman and Quagmire’s father). Brian died when a car hit him in an alternate timeline, but Stewie saved him using his time machine.

"Whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"

Stewie Griffin

Stewie may just be a British baby, but don’t underestimate him! He’s a genius and an evil mastermind. If it weren’t for his inability to care for himself, he would have already conquered the world. At the very least, he would have accomplished his main goal of destroying Lois. However, Stewie has been shown to care for her. He saved her life when she was about to be murdered in a storyline reminiscent of an Agatha Christie murder mystery. Stewie has formed a close relationship with Brian over the years. The two go on trips together across the country and across time.

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Momma! Momma! Momma!

Lois: WHAT?!?

Stewie: …hi [runs away giggling]

Chris Griffin

Chris may look more mature than the other kids his age, but mentally he’s still Peter’s son. Like his father, he ends up in ridiculous antics due to his own childishness. Like when he treated his overgrown pimple like a person, naming him Doug. When he tried to get rid of Doug, the pimple pulled a gun out and threatened his life. However, the family doesn’t always believe Chris when he says he’s in danger, especially when he tells them about the Evil Monkey who lives in his closet. Or when Herbert, the neighborhood’s second biggest predator (behind Quagmire), tries to invite him in for some lemonade.

Chris: [to Brian wearing a Quinceañera dress] Do you or do you not feel bonita?

Brian: I feel bonita.

Chris: Wonderful! Because you look bonita! Gracias cariña, puedes recogerlo el miercoles.

Meg Griffin

Meg is there too.

"You guys all think you're so much better than me!"